THE SIMPLE AND PREDICTABLE DIVORCE PROCESS IS HERE
Two local family law attorneys have synthesized their combined years of experience in litigation, mediation, and collaborative law to create the FasTrack Divorce™; a fast and final divorce option with a predictable fee structure.
In a FasTrack divorce, both spouses agree to use attorneys who will charge the same hourly rate, with the goal of keeping the total billable time to between 20 and 25 hours. The parties will exchange financial and other relevant information through standardized forms, and the case proceeds rapidly into mediation. If the parties are unable to resolve all disputes in mediation, the case will be finalized through binding arbitration. The case can be concluded within 100 days, if both parties follow the recommended schedule.
Many prominent Seattle and Eastside attorneys have agreed to take cases following the FasTrack method and highly qualified mediators, including a retired King County Commissioner, are available to assist in mediation and arbitration. For the first time, attorneys are able to offer their clients a private and expedited divorce process with a cost-structure that is predictable and contained.
To find out more about FasTrack Divorce™, please visit the website at www.fastrackdivorce.com, or call one of the participating attorneys found at www.fastrackdivorce.com/professionals.

So what can a parent who is owed child support do when their ex is out of work? And what options are available to the parent that has lost their job but still has responsibility for a child.

First, it’s important to note that even when someone loses a job, that person is still responsible for paying child support. If you owe support and have lost your job, check with your local unemployment office to see if you are eligible to draw unemployment employment benefits. If you are, you can tell the unemployment agency that you owe support and it will be deducted from your wages.

An About.com article : Unemployment and Child Support  written by Debrina Washington, also outlines steps to take when a parent isn’t eligible for unemployment. She also offers advice for taking care of other obligations including insuring your child during a period of unemployment.

Depending on circumstances, support orders can be modified in court, she reminds parents. Once the parent gets a new job, orders can be modified again. “Unemployment is very difficult for both custodial and non-custodial parents to handle. However, the need to support a child does not terminate when a parent is unemployed. A child support order will only be altered if a parent seeks a modification. Parents should seek the assistance of a qualified attorney in your state who can help file for a modification,” she writes.

Contact us and we can help you determine your options if you are owed child support or are responsible for child support payments.

Sharing parenting can be difficult after a divorce, but it can be easier if both parents truly consider what’s best for the kids. If you are co-parenting with your ex, there are things you can do to make it easier for you – and for the kids.

In an article, “Tips for Divorced Parents Co-parenting with Your Ex and Making Joint Custody Work” authors Jocelyn Block, M.A. and Melinda Smith, M.A., say children whose parents can work together feel more secure and stable following a divorce.

The authors also says you should never use your children as a messenger between you and your ex. “When you have your child tell the other parent something for you, it puts him or her in the center of your conflict. The goal is to keep your child out of your relationship issues, so call or email your ex yourself,” they explain.

Consistency in discipline, rules and scheduling is important in sharing parenting the authors say,” Where you can, aim for some consistency in your children’s schedules. Making meals, homework, and bedtimes similar can go a long way toward your child’s adjustment to having two homes.”

In a blog post, 10 Co-Parenting Commandments, author Lynn Nelson advises parents to pick their battles. You aren’t going to do everything the same as your former spouse, and that can be OK. ” If an activity won’t harm them physically or psychologically, it probably is none of your business. Recognize it’s okay, maybe even good, for children to learn different ways of doing things. It’s almost certain that the other parent won’t do everything your way,” she writes.

And remember, in doing something as important as co-parenting, communication with your ex is key. “It’s good to get into a regular habit of checking in with each other on the days when parenting is shared. A worst-possible scenario is that lack of communication could lead to a child not being picked up after school or day care, or important medical treatment being disrupted,” Nelson writes.

There’s no one right or wrong way to break the news, and different children will respond in different ways, but there are some steps you can take to really help your children cope with what’s about to happen.

In her blog, Five Tips on How To Tell The Children You Are Getting Divorced, divorce transition and relationship coach Betsy Ross urges parents to remember that explaining your divorce to the children is a process, one “that evolves over time and includes lots of room for the expression of feelings (theirs) for reassurances that they are loved and will continue to be parented and loved (by you both), and for answering questions.”

As part of that process, she suggests giving the kids a few pieces of what will be happening at a time. Don’t dump everything on them at once. “It wouldn’t be helpful to tell your children you are getting divorced, the house is for sale, and we’re moving to Kentucky all in one sitting,” she writes.

Once you tell them you’re divorcing, watch and respond to their reactions. “Ask them what you just said and see if they are truly comprehending what you are talking about or if they just stare at you with a vacant expression. Don’t be afraid to repeat yourself or express the same message using different words,” Ross advises.

A Psychology Today article: Mom and Dad Have Something to Tell You: Six Tips for Talking to Kids About Divorce by Kevin D. Arnold highlights a study of in-depth interviews of children of divorce. That study suggests you should deliver the news to all of your children at the same time. “Parents sometimes tell the oldest child first, and shelter the youngest child. The strategy seems unwise, since older children then bear the burden of keeping secrets,” he writes.

Understandably, children could be scared or confused about what a divorce means for them. It’s wise to be truthful with kids and address their concerns as best you can. Don’t just respond “It’ll be OK,” Arnold writes. “(C)hildren need parents to address their confusion and pain. They need to know the details and to receive answers to questions. Parents do best when they reduce the confusion [the children] feel by being truthful.”

Finally, the study found that children may benefit when parents deliver the news together. Arnold writes, “When parents bring all the family together, the children benefit from a united message delivered by both parents-children feel less disturbed when parents exhibit this kind of maturity. The research tells us that children prefer a message that avoids parents blaming each other-instead hoping both parents will take ownership of the marriage ending. Doing so can protect children from feeling a) that they caused the divorce or b) that they must align with one parent and reject the other.”

For instance, a Daily Finance article Getting Divorced or Separated? 7 Financial Mistakes Not to Make advises that couples separate their finances as much as possible, including breaking up joint accounts, once a decision is made to divorce. “One reason to close joint credit cards and loans is that each of you will be 100% financially liable for debts incurred – even if the other person racked up the bills,” reports Lynnette Khalfani-Cox.

It’s also important to adjust to a new reality. Other moves that could come back to jeopardize you down the road include keeping the family home or trying to maintain the same lifestyle you did when married. Those can be costly mistakes if your post-divorce finances can’t support you.

“Before your divorce, you may have taken regular family vacations, eaten out whenever you wanted, and had your three kids enrolled in tennis classes and soccer lessons, as well as the after-school band club. In your post divorce, life, however, you’d be wise to accept a simple truth and break it gently to your children: You and the kids can’t do everything you previously did,” Khalfani-Cox writes.

These are common-sense steps you should take to avoid making a sad situation worse. And though it can be difficult to talk to your soon-to-be ex, it’s definitely a mistake not find some way to communicate during the process, whether that be face-to-face, by email, phone or by text.

Proper negotiation around issues like who keeps the marital home, financial arrangements, child and spousal support, and more can really make a difference in your new life. Negotiation is an important part of the divorce process, and in the end should be fair for both parties.

There are some things to keep in mind when you start the negotiation process. Divorce Negotiating Tips – 7 Doe’s and Don’ts  at the Divorce with Dignity website gives some helpful advice on getting started. Among those Do’s and Don’t are:

• DO make a prioritized list of what you want
• DO listen to the other side
• DON’T be in a hurry, and
• DON’T give anything away without getting something in return

The article also advises that when you do reach an agreement MAKE SURE to get it in writing, cautioning:  “Oral agreements are the first step, but the negotiations are not complete until the divorce settlement decisions are put into writing in detail. Memories can be faulty and having the written proof of what was agreed on enables you to avoid the bickering that can occur when there is disagreement about what was decided.”

More to think about comes from Collaborative lawyer M. Marcy Jones who says negotiations, with the help of a skilled attorney, can keep you from settling a divorce with a trial. That can keep your costs from spiraling out of control.

“Clients typically believe that getting divorced means getting ugly with each other and having to go to court to get things settled. This is not true. There are a number of ways to get divorced without going to court (and without getting ugly), ways that are better for everyone involved,” she writes, adding, ” Get the help you need to figure out how to improve your communication with your spouse, so that, even though your marriage is ending, your relationship continues in the most positive way possible.”